Why is playing music like walking on a tightrope? If you don’t C sharp, you’ll B flat.

Why couldn’t Mozart find his music teacher? He was Haydn behind the piano.

What do you call the skinny officer leading the army band? A flat Major.

When Beethoven was born, he immediately kicked and wiggled his hands in the air.  The doctor ran out to the streets and shouted to the village that he had already finished his first movement.

What is the best advice you can give an out-of-tune flute? ……..Don’t blow "it".

Why did the policeman arrest the whole cello section? They got into treble.

What do pirates and trumpets have in common? They both are murder on the high C’s.

Why did the musician keep ringing the doorbell? Because he couldn't find the key and didn’t know when to come in.

Why is your first music book like a fish? Both have scales front to back.

Why does a conductor always turn so many pages during a concert? Because he can’t listen to the ball game on the radio, and he wants to see the score.

Why are the police always happy at the end of a concert? Because all of the cases are closed.

Why did the violinist only play pizzicato after the first encore? Because the conductor took his bow.

How did the symphony tumble into the orchestra pit? Because the stage left.